Internet: The Roleplaying Game

[Kevin]
"Do we even have anything that can translate?"

"Maybe. Theres a few rows of items we started out with and didn't know about." I scanned through the item list.

"Enclosed Instuction Book, Dinner, Stone Football, ....hey, we do have a Translator!"

[Kevin]
"Well, let's use it!"

I clicked on the translator and a massive machine came out, crushing my foot. "..............Ow........."

[Kevin]
I moved the massive machine. "How the hell are we going to use this?!?!"

"Press the only button that looks like it'd work." I pressed a large red button on the machines side and the Mudkips started speaking English.

"Weegee is in space! Weegee is in space!"

[Kevin]
"SPACE?!?!?!??!"

"I'M THE BEST AT SPACE-.....nevermind......" I shook one of the Mudkip's paws and went to the button again.

[Kevin]
"How the hell are we going to get to space?!?! And WHERE in space is Weegee?!?!?"

"Good point." I left the machine on and let the Mudkips continue.

One said, "In a galaxy far, far away...."
Others said, "We dunno."

But the most common answer was, "He's making an army in his own ship! Get a rocket! Save us!"

[Kevin]
"Great! Who knows how long that'll take!"

"The blink of an eye.....literally, I think we can blink and a rocket will be right there." I pointed to the street behind us.

[Kevin]
"Ya, ya, ya, sure! Like that'll happen~!"

"Just do it." I blinked and imagined the rocket, un-blinking to a giant crash.

[Kevin]
"What the hell?!?!?"

"I told you" I turned around and saw an enormous space shuttle.

[Kevin]
"Greeeeaaaatt! I feel like we're going to meet Ackbar!"

"Don't give them OR me any ideas." I carefully headed up the shuttle's ramp.

[Kevin]
"Eh." I followed.

"Let's see here. Rooms, hallway, cockpit..." I sat in the pilot's chair, sitting on a book. "What's this...? Oh, very funny, 'Idiot's Guide to Flying Spacecraft'."

[Kevin]
"Oooo, what does this button do?" I pressed a button, only to get knock-out gas to the face. ".....This knock-out gas isn't working."

I turned around and went to the button. "Well, that's because it's perfume. THIS is the knockout gas button." I pressed a different labeled button and was sprayed with KO gas and knocked out.

[Kevin]
"Oh, I thought the fact I don't have a physical nose or mouth was the reason."

"Zzzzzzzz..." I was drooling on the floor.

[Kevin]
"......WAKE UP, OR I'M CUTTING OFF YOUR MANHOOD!" My arm turned into a blade.